The next step to finding balance between your writing and parenthood is setting priorities. This may seem like a no-brainer, but far too often we get overwhelmed with everything we have to do, and forget to prioritize. Start by making a list of everything you have to do on a daily basis. Out of those daily items, figure out what you can let go. Let's face it, if you want to have a writing career and be an amazing mother, you can't also be the PTA president. You just can't. So let some things go from your list and don't look back. 

Next, prioritize your daily tasks by putting the most important first. I can tell you my number one priority every day are my kids. They win every time. My number two is my writing. My number three is housework. This does not mean my house is a crazy, rat-infested, disgusting place to be. I actually keep my house quite neat. What it does mean, is I make sure my kids' needs are met first. If it's my writing time, and someone had a bad dream and needs snuggles. I snuggle my baby and don't feel guilty about it because I pre-determined what was most important in my life. This also means if I have a busy day with lots of errands and it comes time to write and my laundry isn't done...I'm going to choose writing. Again, without guilt. The laundry will get done. But not until I put in my time first. Because that was what I determined was most important for me. And you know what? Once I made these priorities, and once I made writing one of my top ones, I found it actually happens. And everything else happens that needs to as well. When you make the time for those things which are most important to you, they actually get accomplished, and everything else you once thought was important but really isn't just falls away.

For one day only My Name is Bryan will be on sale for $0.99! Friday, July 24th grab the Whitney award finalist and RONE award finalist and discover for yourself the book which has inspired thousands. As an added bonus, ALL of my other novels are marked down $1 off. So grab them while they're hot. Happy reading!

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Also available on iBooks

For the next few weeks, I'm going to give some brief tips on how to balance being both an author and a mother. If you don't have writing aspirations, I'm sure these tips can come in handy for making time to do the other things you love!

First and foremost, when I teach my class I start by asking one question: Is writing a career or a hobby? Pause and consider this question very seriously. Hobbies are what we do for fun when we have extra time. Simple. So if writing is a hobby at this point in your life, then stop worrying when you don't have time for it! Just be happy with the few moments you get to write every couple months and stop stressing.

If writing is a career, however, then you need to start treating it as such. If you have to work from 8:30pm to 12:00am (my typical hours) every night, your boss wouldn't be too thrilled if you called in every night with excuses like "I had a rough day with the kids, I'm just too tired." Or "I'm not in the right mood." Or "I'd rather play around on Facebook for two hours and then watch Dancing with the Stars." These types of excuses wouldn't fly. You would be fired before the week's end. As a writer, you are your own boss. Treat yourself like you actually have a job. Clock your hours and make sure you get your writing time in every single day. It's amazing how much more work you get done when you start treating your writing like a real career. It's all about attitude. And trust me, you'll learn to get over those tried-Mama humps when you exercise your brain muscles every single night.

Equally important: if you start treating your writing like a career, make sure others do too! Make sure your husband understands the importance of your writing. If he's distracting you every night with "let's just watch a movie together" or "let's play this game", he's not treating your career with respect. You don't roll over in the mornings and say, "Don't go to work today, just stay home and play with me and the kids." You have respect for his career. So, tempting as it may be, you don't keep him from it. Make sure that respect goes both ways. (Don't worry! In a future post I'll talk about spending time with the hubs). The same goes for friends, family, and other neighbors. "No, I'm sorry, I can't go out after the kids are in bed tonight, I have to work." Just as people who work need to request time off in advance, you need notice to work extra hours on other nights, or squeeze in some time during the day so you can still get your hours in for the week. No need to become a recluse! You just need better planning and a new mindset. You can't always attend every event or help with every situation that arises. After all, you're a working woman now!

Stay tuned next week for my post on Priorities :)

Anyone who knows me knows that as much as I love writing, being a Mommy comes first. I have three beautiful, crazy, energetic children who keep me on my toes and give me the biggest reason for getting out of bed each day. "Mom! I want breakfast!" 

With my sixth book in production, and my fourth child on the way, I frequently get asked: "How do you do it? How do you find time to write such incredible books and take care of your home and family too?"  I can tell you it's not easy! It takes a lot of self-discipline and time management, but it's also very doable. The last year or so I have been asked to teach a class on making time to write: finding balance between motherhood and authorship. So I decided to put everything I have learned (and continue to learn) about being both a mom and an author on this blog in, what I hope, will become a new weekly segment.

Setting the Example

I recently had a review posted on one of my books that really bothered me. It wasn't necessarily a bad review, she gave the book four stars. But what this mother said in the review made my heart ache for her and her daughter. She claimed the final book in my Princess Sisters trilogy (Forever After) was not appropriate for her daughter to read. There is kissing and teenage girls having to make difficult decisions in my most recent novel. 

Let me preface by saying my books are clean. I am very careful about the content I include in my writing. You will never find a swear word or a sex scene or anything graphic in one of my novels. I also write about issues that are real. I want young girls to know that it's okay to say no. I want them to know that they don't need a boyfriend to feel validated or popular. I want young girls to know that it's okay to be you. Be happy with who you are and don't let anyone ever make you feel less. I want young girls to know that they should stick up for their morals and their values and what they believe in. Even if they are afraid the boy they love won't like them anymore. They need to see examples of girls their age being strong. They need to see examples of girls their age making these hard decisions. And they need to see examples of girls their age standing up for themselves.

In my book, a character chooses her family over a boyfriend and ends up losing the boyfriend (but gets someone better in the end). Another character is faced with the choice between college or the boy she loves. She chooses college and things turn out great. A character is faced with an offer to move in together, which is against her beliefs. She chooses to stand up for her beliefs, and it all works out in the end. Another character is kissing a boy and it starts to go too far. They both stop before it does and decide to make some changes so it doesn't happen again.

Young girls need to see examples like these characters. So many girls grow up in homes where no one talks about the hard things. Mine was one of these homes. We didn't have real conversations about uncomfortable topics. I knew right from wrong, but what I didn't know was how to stand up for myself. I knew I should say no, but no one taught me how. My characters deal with real situations and real problems so young girls can learn by example not only that it's okay to stand up for themselves, but how to go about doing it.
 
Too many books and movies show girls willing to do anything to get and keep their boyfriends. They show that having a boyfriend as a teenager determines their self worth. Let's have real conversations with our girls about these issues, and let's provide examples of other girls making good decisions. Let's teach our girls to be strong!